one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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