Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
