I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You need Xanax blowdarts
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize