I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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