He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
