I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
