the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
