We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
