..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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