no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
