My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
