Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We need to rekindle our bromance
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
