Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
