You don't have asthma, your pregnant
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
