im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
