Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
