have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
