I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
