Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
