its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
