how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
