We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
