soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
