what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
