wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
