id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
we're making bets on your personal life
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
