Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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