Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
