before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
