drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
