I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We have so much sex to catch up on
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
