I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
