Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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