his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
When did angry sex become our thing?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
