so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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