You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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