Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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