dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
