Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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