there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
