Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize