you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize