if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
