dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
