Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize