Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
