I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Randomize
