I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
