this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
