Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
