You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
