tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
