Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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