Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
