Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
