My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
