I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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