Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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