There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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