I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize