So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Houston, we have a blender
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
