I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
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