My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
